Back to the past!

Why argue at Copenhagen when we can learn from the stone age?

The Three Idiots

Once upon a time in a forest called IIT Madras lived three close friends. Like everyone else around, they had gone through the rigorous training that one undergoes in IITM: mess food, shortage of chicks etc.. They say that if you can live through your B.Tech here, you can live through anything. So they had finished their respective courses; the Elec guy had decided to study further and was moving abroad for the same; the Comp Sci guy got a nice paying job in some obscure Bangalore company. the Aero guy was still looking for one..

So to celebrate the time they had at college, they decided to call some arbit freshie..lets call him Golguppa and “interacted” with him through the night. The next day on their way to Gurunath, they were kidnapped by the GCU. They had committed the unforgivable crime of ragging a freshie. They were soon tried by the Disco and sentenced to death by the electric chair.

So one by one, they were taken to the execution room. The Comp Sci guy went first. He was asked if he had any last words to speak. He said, “I believe in god. God will save me.”. They tried to electrocute him. But nothing happened to him. So they said, “God is truly great.” and let him free. The Aero guy went next. They asked him if he had any last words too. He said, “I believe in science. Science shall save me.”. They tried to electrocute him too. But nothing happened to him too. So they said, “Science is great” and they let him free. The Elec guy was the last one to enter. They asked him for any last words. The Elec guy replied, “If you dumbasses don’t plug in the mains of the Electric Chair, there is no way it is going to work!”.

Google Wave is awesome!

And they lived happily ever after

This is IIT, where there are a total of ten people on campus, five of whom do weed, eight are usually too drunk to attend classes, and every other person has either attempted suicide or made out with his professor’s daughter. Not to forget the perpetual muggu, who covers his window panes with black paper, so as to protect himself from the gaze  of 7 pointers. This is where people risk their lives, doing stunts even Batman would be proud of to get their hands on a question paper. Yes. This is IIT. Five Point Someone is probably the most factually incorrect book ever written; this guy actually praises MS Word(Open Office anyone??).

Chetan Bhagat should have been a Bollywood script writer; His books are a perfect recipe for success. There is a hero. There are his sidekicks. There is a chick. There is her evil father.There is action. There is tragedy. There is comedy(the farce that comes from IITians). And at the end, everyone lives happily ever after.

The other day I read his latest book; the one called “Two States”. All he has done is pitched Punjabis against Tam Brahms and poked fun at eccentric ways that supposedly exist among them. I read this book with no expectations whatsoever, and it turned out be a fascinating read, just to notice the amount of exaggeration in the it. What makes it popular amongst people is that there are not too many people who know about the lives and the ways of an average Punjabi as well as a Tam. They usually end up laughing at the other(you may want to read this later if you like this).

Now for some clarifications. There are 4000 people on campus. I do not do weed; hardly anyone does it here. I do not go drunk to classes. I have not tried to commit suicide since I joined. I have not made out with my Professor’s daughter yet. I do not have black paper on my window panes; I will probably end up getting close to an 8 pointer anyway. I have not tried dropping ropes from the roof in order to get into my Prof’s office at night; all their rooms are on the ground floor. MS Office sucks. And I am an IITian.

Lost in Translation

I have heard of Andhra Pradesh and Himachal Pradesh, but this one really left me wondering. Yet another awesome board @IITM

The Shaastra that was…

Never in my life had I felt before that I couldn’t carry on working like this for much longer. 3 hours of sleep a day for a week and a half straight can take a toll on you. But then, it was the week before Shaastra and I had my plate full. I had volunteered for a project to build a control system for planes, had to write a few software for the Puzzle Championships, and had already been selected for the final round for the robotics event. Apart from all this, there were classes to attend, which left no time to do anything else. I have always laughed at management gurus talking of the importance of multitasking and time management. All I shall say now is that I have learnt my lesson.

This edition of Shaastra was like any other big college Tech Fest. From what I hear, it was not as big as last one; I was slightly disappointed, perhaps I expected it to be like what I heard from others of the last Shaastra. Only looking back with an unbiased mind makes you realise how good it was. The LASER show, and the fireworks were ordinary, the Air Show was brilliant, the Event organisers had put in a lot of effort for sure; but being a completely student managed fest, their inexperience showed at times, when the media player wouldn’t work during the closing ceremony for one. Overall, it was a job well done putting it up together in the way it was.

For me, it was a real mixed experience. The control system could not be demonstrated in flight because the engine was not powerful enough to take the load;Our robots were sure contenders for a top spot, but ended up failing miserably due to a minor design flaw. I had not been so frustrated for ages, but then, looking back at the whole thing, I can only be happy with the progress we had made from the last time we had tried to build a robot. I have decided to leave the sample arena we had designed for the robot in my room .intact. The Puzzle Championship went smoothly, and I was thoroughly satisfied with my work. Adding all this to meeting old friends, and free food vouchers, it was a Shaastra to remember.

Grammatically challenged II

You can find this on the door of our hostel common room. Credits to SS for the pic.

Grammatically Challenged

How can the IIT Madras management even compile such notices?

LOLMAX @ Chennai Airport

In case you can’t see the text clearly, it says “Work in Progress”.

How I keep myself updated with my mail, twitter, and the blogs I follow when I am not able to access the Internet

I shall be joining IIT Madras in some time now. Rules there don’t allow LAN and Internet access for the first four months(No idea why; they say you need to experience IIT life, as once you get your computers, you get hooked to LAN/Internet gaming, and you will hardly enjoy the campus; This is true for a lot of people, from what I have seen from my last year at NITK). So I felt the necessity to keep myself updated. So, with a little help from Google, and a bit of tweaking, I figured out how to get regular updates by SMS(this works only in India, though you could use some alternate services to work it elsewhere; this does not cost anything, and is way better than using GPRS/3G).

So here is how it works. Gmail and Twitter have authenticated RSS feeds. This means that feed readers trying to read these will prompt the user for Username and Password. Hence authenticated feeds are not supported by most readers. Moreover, to view these feeds, there needs to be an interaction between the user and the reader, and hence an internet connection is needed.

So we use something called a Feed-Proxy. These are sites, that automatically supply the login details when asked, and export the feeds to thier own RSS feed. In simpler words, they convert authenticated feeds to unauthenticated fields.

Google Labs India has a feature called SMS channels, from which one can subscribe to Channels created by other users. You can create your own channel, and RSS feed updates can be sent. So we use these SMS channels to send the updates to your mobile as the unauthenticated feed supplied by the Feed Proxy(Most blogs have their unauthenticated feeds, and can be accessed in a similar way).

I shall post some useful links here:

Gmail Feed(Authenticated):

Twitter Feed(Authenticated): http://twitter.com/<username>/with_friends

Feed-Proxy: FreeMyFeed-Enter the authenticated feed address, username and password. The RSS feed link is to be used later;Copy it somewhere.

Google SMS Channels: You need to login using your Google account.If you have not already done so before, you need to verify your phone number. Click on the create channel link, select RSS feed, and paste the feed address appropriately. Fill the rest of the details and you are done.

Edit: Use tinyurl to convert your feed proxy feeds from relative URLs to absolute URLs as relative URLs may fail on SMS Channels.

SMS Channels takes some time to activate, so be patient

Books are meant to be read

After mustering enough courage, I made my mind up to watch the latest Harry Potter movie. I couldn’t get a constant opinion from anyone; a lot of people said that the movie was good. So I thought it would be better than the last few and watched it. And yet again, it was a disaster(opinions may differ). The storyline was changed, there was hardly any content,  the storyline was loosely bound, and there were more lovey-dovey scenes than anything else. I found some of the special effects good, but that was about it. This adds to the huge number of movies, adapted from books that according to me were just not good enough.

I had finished the Bourne series of books over summer, and when I told one of my friends over chat that “I just finished Bourne Supremacy”, he was like “Yeah. It was a great movie”. That was when I first heard that movies had been made out of the Bourne books too. So, I downloaded them, burning precious midnight oil(Literally;I have unlimited internet only at night. I do most of my big downloads then). I saw the first two, and they were most unlike the books. They were according to me Good movies, but Bad Bourne movies.

When I had joined NITK, this was precisely the topic for my group discussion at a mock placement event. There have been some great movies, that have been adapted from greater books(If you haven’t done it already, read the Godfather and watch the movie). But the majority of such flicks turn out bad. They also screw up your imagination at times. You look at it from the Director’s eyes, not yours. Also very often, these books are too big to be made into a 2 hour entertainer. It seems that the Harry Potter guys have learnt a lesson..The last movie will come out in two parts.

What Filmmakers should probably realise is that if they want to deviate from the book, they must not associate it heavily with the book itself(James Bond movies are probably the most watched movies of all time, and we all know the response Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci code got). Hopefully, they do follow up, and save many book fans from those hours of torture(sleep sometimes :)).

Craziness on campus. What you should (not) do at NITK

My one year at NITK was perhaps the most memorable of my life. It was a completely different experience altogether for me. Among other things, there were a number of crazy things that I did at college, which make me roll on the floor with laughter whenever I think of them. Here are some of these moments of madness.

• Prank calls: “Hello, I am calling from Vodafone. You have won a gift voucher worth 100 bucks. Please collect it off the Coop Society”(There was a lot more talking actually done). This was a nice way of getting to know more people, as those who got pranked often asked me to prank their friends and so on. I felt really guilty though, when one of the persons actually tried to go to the Coop(which is about a kilometre from the hostels) and it started to rain.
• The Yellow Merc: When you tell out jokes, a crowd gathers. And when you try to tell a never ending joke, more and more people start flocking. The Yellow Merc are a dreaded couple of words among many of my friends now. I shall not tell the joke here. I will probably break the world record for the World’s Longest Web Page!
• Home made Flamethrower: I think this happened in the second semester. We took a nearly empty bottle of deo and a long wooden pole, at the end of which a match was stuck. We lit the match, and sprayed the deo. This was awesome! Flames nearly 2 metres in length lit up the dull hostel corridor. One of the best sights I have seen. P.S. Don't Try this at home
• Of Fire in the hole and FACK!: LAN gaming was the in-thing at college, and counter strike is one of the all time favourites( lots of people play DOTA too.. A few like me also play AOE and FIFA). Every now and then, you would hear cries of “Fire in the Hole” and “Go Go Go!”. What was worse was that a CS addict two rooms away would swear whenever he lost, and his fucks sounded a lot like “FACK”. Me and my roomies got so irritated that we started bellowing “FACK” whenever we heard him, and sometimes invited people over to our room to join us. Imagine 20 people in a room shouting “FACK” !
• Corridor Cricket: We preferred playing cricket in the hostel lobby over the ground because 1. We didn't need to run a lot. 2. The ground was too far away. 3. We could play at any time we wanted. With some inspiration from Ajanta Mendis, I somehow discovered a unique ball that stalls or even spins backwards. It was a real joy to watch Sovi trying to have a swipe at it, and he could hardly touch it. When he did, he probably got out. I probably got him out more times than all the other people put together(Sovi has a big build, and you can imagine a big guy trying to have a swipe at a tennis ball with a small bat in a small area, and missing :)).
• How not to give presentations and speeches: For my professional communication course, I was required to deliver a speech to the class. My topic was Google, and I started by shouting out “Are You Evil” to the crowd. Not once but thrice(Don’t be evil is Google’s motto). The instructor and others were mildly frightened i think :). In the end, he praised me for being “dramatic”, and gave me a good grade too. For a presentation for the Ethics course(I had corruption), I repeatedly called one of my classmates(Sovi again) “fat”. It might not have been acceptable in too many classes, but I think it worked out well.
• Kannada Classes: Half the people at college did not know Kannada, and they were glad to learn the basics. Unfortunately, some of them ended up asking the wrong people for help. We told them that “Naanu”(meaning I) actually meant You, and “Neenu(meaning You) meant I. And like most other languages, one of the first things that you learn while learning a new language are the abuses. It was hilarious watching the people shout “Naanu <abusive word>” at each other. Our laughing only encouraged them to carry on. I had the whole thing recorded. I will try to retrieve it and post a link :).
• Farter Virus: With a little bit of dumb coding, I managed to write a code, which changed your Windows sounds to Fart sounds. So every time you double clicked something, the computer farted, every time you plugged in some hardware, the computer farted. It farted for each and every thing you did. It was really funny to watch some of my friends get frustrated. But then, I eventually set the things right. Not too many people trust me with their laptops now :)
• Operation Power Cut: In the beginning of the year, I was one of the few people to have a computer at hostel. That meant that almost anyone and everyone would be on the computer all the time. It got rather frustrating at times, so I formed a group of friends who could help me out on these. I would just sms them, and they would cut the power to the hostels momentarily, and then restore it back(It wasn't difficult to find the mains switch; We dubbed it Operation Power Cut(OPC when other people were around)). As I didn't have a UPS, the computer would shut down, and people would leave before the power was back
• For the IEEE virtual bounty(I am not a member of IEEE myself, but I in with some ideas), we set the theme was super-villains, one needed to answer the questions posed by each super-villain to go to the next round. But there was a twist in the plot. We set the final villain as one of our good third year friends(now final year), and made good use of a photograph that we had snapped at a quiz on the day before the treasure hunt. The question itself was based on a 1940's movie that he always talked about(Most Quiz club members and a few others probably know about this). We made sure that this person played the treasure hunt, dropped clues aptly, so that he progressed to the final round. In fact he was wearing the same shirt as he wore in his photograph when he finished. The look on his face was really funny :D.
  
• There was so much more that I did in the year. It was truly an amazing experience, spending this one year at NITK.

Traffic rules in India

• There are three traffic signals: Red-Stop only if the person ahead of you has stopped. Amber- What is that? Green- Go!
• It is a crime to have less than three people on a two wheeler.
• The last lane of the road is always meant for parking ( rule applies for single lane roads also).
• One must normally drive on the left of the road. Driving on the right side is allowed as long as you use the horn.
• The first lane is reserved for fat people on low powered scooters. They are not expected to leave the lane, no matter how much you honk.
• You are expected to know of the “No Parking” zones, even if there are no signs to show them. Any two wheeler parked in a No Parking zone is expected to be picked up by the traffic cops in less than 5 minutes( Mine got taken away 3 times already). Four wheelers are normally spared as it is difficult to haul them into the Vehicle pound.
• Local Buses stop in the middle of the road only. Also, speed limit restrictions are not applicable to these buses.
• 1 stud on a fast bike+ 1 moderately good looking chick on a slow scooty=Recipe for a traffic disaster!
• Auto drivers reserve the right to cut across at 90degrees on a busy road if they see a pedestrian sticking their hand out
• What is the easiest way to make 10,000 rupees in one day?? Become a traffic policeman and set up shop outside a college
• Provision 12842817452 of the constitution states that cows have the liberty to sit, sleep or crap on roads, and you cannot do anything about it.
  
• There are many more rules left for me to be discovered. Watch this space for more :)

Where are we heading?

One of my cousins finished his 12th standard exams recently. This is an excerpt from our conversation:

Him: I hardly attended college. I don’t even know where my classroom was

Me: Why did you not do so?

Him: Because no one else attended college.

Me: Then what did they do?

Him: Everyone goes to coaching classes.

Me: Didn’t the college say anything?

Him: No. There are only a few colleges that strongly adhere to the attendance regulations.

Me: Why did you not join such a college?

Him: No one joins such colleges.

This is only one particular case. But this is prevalent all over the state. You never know whom to blame. The colleges say that they cannot do anything as the coaching classes urge students to not attend college. The coaching classes say that they merely teach because nothing is taught at colleges. The system is like a snake biting its own tail off. And ultimately, the snake is itself harmed!

When I was at school, only those students who were weak at a particular subject would take tuitions. Nowadays, there are not too many people, who do not enrol themselves for these coaching classes, in their 12th standards. We were visiting a few colleges where my cousin would have liked to take admission into. So one of the Principals asked me where I was studying. I told him that I had secured my admission into IIT Madras. The first question he asked was-“Which coaching class did you attend?”. It seems taken for granted that everyone who gets into IITs does it through coaching classes. The other day during my IIT counselling, when I had to get some papers signed by the chairman of the JEE, he asked me whether coaching classes had influenced the order of choices for the various branches. I told him that I had not attended any this year. At this, he seemed pleasantly surprised.

Most of these coaching classes are heavily exam oriented, and do not focus on teaching the subjects, instead focussing on examination techniques. They take in students in hordes. They sing success stories about how many people did well because of them. They never talk about the number of people who do not do well. They totally refuse to own up to a student’s failure, saying that if someone else could do it, why not him/her.

I find this system really unfair for those, who come from financially weaker sections of the society. The coaching classes charge high fees. Usually around Rs. 50,000 for a two years classroom program, which is by no means a small amount. I have heard of some such “classes” that charge even more. If the colleges do not teach, what can such people do?

This does not end here. Coaching classes continue for engineering courses. I was surprised of hearing of this at first, but find it very common nowadays. The other day, I made some rather sarcastic comments about people going to such classes for engineering to a friend. It turned out that she was attending such classes too. I was in an uneasy situation, but then, I merely said what I felt. Who know, at this rate, they might even have classes on how to do a job, how to date, how to spend one’s first night… LOL. The possibilities are endless. All I can say is God save the system!

One Nation, one system!

With a debate raging in Maharashtra on the 90-10 quota for admission to junior colleges, the Union HRD Minister Kapil Sibal came out with a series of proposals, to reform the aging education system in the country. India is a big country, with a number of states, and most of them have their own education boards. Each board has their own rules, and often, the rules are arbitrarily set, and is the source of controversies in many situations. Among some of the recent cases, the Maharashtra government has proposed a 90% reservation in junior colleges for students from state board schools, and the remaining for students from CBSE and ICSE boards. This percentage has been based on the percentile stats across the states, but has caused a stir in the Urban areas, where a greater percentage of students go to schools from these other boards. In a number of states, the local language is forced upon the students, and this can be a big problem for students, who move to that state at a stage, where it would be difficult to pick up the new language.

Sibal has called for the unification of all these boards, so as to have a uniform system throughout the country. Sibal has also proposed to do away with the 10th board exams, which he considers unnecessary. Quoting Sibal, “Education is not meant to traumatise the parents and students. This is unacceptable”. He also proposes to have grades for these examinations, instead of a numerical score.

I feel that this is a wonderful move, and will be very helpful for students as well as parents, who are often more concerned than the students themselves( ask me about that aspect :) ). Another area where this will help would be in the admissions for institutes of higher education, which has become a rat race of tremendous proportions. I have just come out of this rat race, and hopefully, I am one of the last few, who have to go through this stage. The situation may be bad until 10th standard, it worsens after that, because this is the stage where it really matters. All states have their own entrance examinations, with different rules for each. I know of many people who found it difficult to get admission in higher colleges, solely because they had not stayed in that state for a certain number of years( a lot of states have rules, that allow a student to take up such exams only if he/she has lived in that state for a certain period of time, usually 6-8 years minimum ). I find this very unfair and hope that it gets sorted out with the reforms.

Another thing that I have observed is that in many states, the board exams in 12th don’t really matter. It is the various other entrance examinations that count. I have seen many cases where colleges have tie-ups with coaching institutes, wherein the colleges give complete attendance for the student, without him/her having to attend college, leaving him/her free to devote all of his time towards these competitive exams. I know of many people who have gone through their 11th-12th years attending college only for their practicals. The system is prevalent in Kota, Hyderabad and a few other places, from what I hear. What is more alarming is that many of these coaching classes follow a heavily examination oriented approach, which turns out bad for a number of students in the years to come.

I sincerely hope that this is only the beginning, and the reforms actually get carried out, which would certainly help students, as well as parents, and lead to the overall development of the country.

Is this a good move

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  It is a brilliant move. It should have happenned a long time ago


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  It is a good move. Board Exams should remain though


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  It is a bad move


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  No Opinion

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Of Pulao and Puliyogere

When you walk in to an Indian restaurant, the first thing the waiter would ask you is “Sir, would you like to have North Indian food or South Indian food?”. On a broader perspective, most Indians, if asked to classify Indians by geography, they would say North and South. I come from Maharashtra, which is neither too north, nor too south. So most South Indians think of me as from North and most of them from North consider me a South Indian. But then, from North or South, we are all Indians, and as Nehru said, “India is my country, and all Indians are my brothers and sisters”. National integration has been on the government's agenda for a number of years, and looking at the ignorance of people about their fellow country-people, I begin to ponder on the its success.

I have myself spent half my life in Maharashtra, and the other half down south, and I know half a dozen Indian languages, and I am very interested in knowing about the lives of people over the country. Just by looking at a person, and his/her name and accent, I can normally very accurately place the person by the state he/she is from. But looking at the sheer ignorance amongst the people, I feel rather surprised. I shall cite some instances which I can recollect, that portrays the same.

The other day, when Bangalore Royal Challengers beat the Chennai Super Kings in the IPL semi-finals, one of my cousins remarked :”The Tamil people will be very happy”. I would expect most people to know that Chennai is the capital of Tamil Nadu (though Bangalore has a significant Tamilian population too, it ranks nowhere compared to Chennai). I told him the same, and he was like Bangalore and Chennai are close to each other anyway. Some professor from IIT Kanpur had written a guide on how to choose the various courses in IITs. In the guide he mentions this kind of ignorance among the people and says that “According to most of the people up North, anyone who lives below the Vindhyas is a Madrasi”. Perhaps an exaggeration, but it captures the big picture.

I had been to IIT Madras for my counselling a few days back and there, I met this guy from Hyderabad, who asked me where I was from. I said Pune, and he was like that is where IIT Bombay is right? I somehow managed not to laugh, but if a person can clear the IIT-JEE, he must surely be knowing that Mumbai and Pune are different cities!

Ignorance is one part of the story but segregation is another. Often, one finds segregation on basis of regions, not just to north-south, but also by states. Back at my college, the trend is reflected very strongly, and people from a particular state/ region often congregate. There are the Bangies (from Bangalore), the Bongos(Bengal), Matthas(Maharashtra), NK(North of Karnataka), Gults(from Andhra) and many more. The names are kinda funny. Among the North Indian lot, the South Indians are called Sandoos..dunno y. And amongst the people from south, the North Indians are called NIDs( the name was originally devised by the north people for “North Indian Dudes”, but is more popularly expanded to “North Indian Duds :) ”).

Despite all this, the Unity in Diversity is what makes India the country it is, and must continue to exist, so that we can develop to a super-power. Up north, the south Indian scripts may look like rangoli, and down south, Hindi might sound alien, but everyone must take an effort in learning and appreciating each other's cultures. This should be the way forward for the colourful spectacle that is India.

P.S. Watch Chak de India..It is a great movie

Fired Rice anyone?

Call it a bad habit, but every time I go to a restaurant, the first thing that I notice is the spelling mistakes in the menu card( I am concerned about the pricing too :) ). Most of the times, I am not disappointed, and there are usually quite a few to be found. I hear that Indians are good at spelling. Ask the Spelling Bee organisers!  The restaurant menu cards don't seem to indicate the same. But then, it is never bad to enjoy a few light moments before your meal.

When I think of misspelt words, a few immediately jump into my mind. I had been to a Chinese restaurant in Bangalore, where Fried rice was spelt as Fired Rice! I started laughing and the waiters were curious. At another occasion, Macaroni was spelt was Marconi. I thought they were going to get me a radio for dinner!

Very often, fancy meaningless names are used by restaurants, some of them are particularly rib tickling. At my college night canteen, the list goes like Veg Hong Kong, Veg Shanghai, Veg Switzerland.. I haven’t had the courage to try these out yet. The other day at my college food court, the whole menu seemed ridden with spelling mistakes. So, I got one of my friends to take a snap of the menu card. Here it is. Have a nice laugh, and next time you go to a Chinese restaurant, think about Fired Rice!

P.S. I am not very good at spellings. But I certainly know to use the Microsoft Word Spell-check. .

A fresh start

Hi all!
I have been blogging for some time now. My other blog, called numberfail has grown immensely, and has a lot of followers, who appreciate the content there. However, I have been posting on far too many other topics on numberfail, and felt the need for a blog, where I could write about my life alone. I shall continue to work on numberfail, but this shall serve as a more personal blog. It also gives me a chance to try out various features of blogger(numberfail is hosted on wordpress, which is also good, but has it's own limitations). So keep reading, and I hope that you enjoy doing so!